Small Steps

So I have decided that I am going to try to make small steps toward not isolating myself so much and the two things I am trying to do right now is answer the phone everytime and run errands with Jon when he asks me to.

Now to anyone else these would seem like everyday things and not really important or hard to do at all but in my world these are monumentally hard and scray for me. I don't even know how long it has been since I have answered the phone for people other than my family. Also I don't know why but I am deathly afraid of going out of my safe apartment and seeing people. Even though both of these things still scare me A LOT I am not going to let my fear imprison me anymore. So you can call me and I promise I will answer like I did this morning. I know it doesn't seem like much but when the phone just rang a little while ago I walked over to it, picked it up and answered it. Also this morning Jon asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping with him and even though I looked horrible I decided to face that fear and go to Walmart with him. Wow, once I had gotten over my fear and just wasn't worried about me looking horrid and what other people would think I really enjoyed it. I even smiled at 2 people and guess what they both smiled back at me! Wow, life really isn't that scary!

I have just decided that small steps are a great way to go for me right now. YEAH ME!!!

I really think going up to my parents for Easter helped me b/c even though I was deathly afraid of going and even had a nervous break down and had to come home for a little while and take a Xanax, despite that all I overcame my fear and went up there and ended up having a fabulous time. THANK YOU AGAIN FAMILY!!!